The Bernie Madoff diet… or “how to eat free forever”

Tired of cooking… tired of eating out…don’t think you can afford a personal chef, how would you like to eat free homemade food delivered to your house… FOREVER.  Sound impossible, not with Chef Corey’s new take on the “Food Pyramid”

Soups, stews, casseroles, etc… take about the same amount of time to cook regardless of whether you make six portions or 36 portions.   A little bit more time chopping and such… but use a food processor and bigger pots and it is pretty negligible.   Most of these dishes taste fine, if not better, as leftovers, but who wants to eat the same leftovers 36 times.

It starts with you and seven suckers…err… friends.  The pitch: “If you cook from scratch just once a week I will bring you homemade meals for the other six days.   What’s the catch? When you cook you have to cook a huge batch, enough for you and seven other families.    Cooking day is Sunday… After making your big old batch of whatever, sit down and enjoy you dinner.  After dinner, package up the leftovers into seven disposable plastic containers and bring them over to my house. On Monday I‘ll swing by your house and drop off six dinners worth of leftovers.   Just reheat something each night and I’ll see you next Sunday.”  So, if you haven’t figured it out yet… here’s the scam:  Sundays, seven suckers bring you seven suppers   (say that three times fast), 49 meals.  On Mondays you deliver all seven suckers six suppers (try that one too), 42 meals.  Where do the other seven meals go… IN YOUR BELLY.  Free homemade food forever… BRILLIANT!!! 

“BUT…”, you say, “I still have to drive around every Monday delivering food.”  Solution:  sell the system…  Tell each sucker that they too can eat for free SIX days a week.  All it will cost them to learn how is one meal a week delivered to your home.  Each of your seven suckers finds seven suckers of their own, and from their seven free meals they kick one back to you.  They drop that one meal off on Monday’s while doing their other deliveries.  You get seven free meals a week (while doing nothing). They get six free meals a week (for an hour or two of driving), and their friends…err… suckers still get 6 homemade meals if they spend only one day cooking.  EVERYONE wins… especially me… err…you…

Like any pyramid scheme… eventually the market will be saturated and the will be no new su… frie… FRUCKERS.  But by then you should have saved enough money to hire a personal chef for the rest of your life.  End of the day… eat well, eat free… FOREVER.   How’s that for today’s time saving tip of the day.

You’re probably wondering:  “why is Chef Corey just giving away this BRILLIANT plan?”  To find out send me five dollars.  I will send you:  that answer, ONE DOLLAR, and my patented system on how to make that ONE DOLLAR into ONE MILLION DOLLARS in GOLD

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